“Providing the most scientific of unscientific ratings possible, one burger at a time.”
At Bloomington Burger Boys, we are all about providing honest, detailed, and thorough reviews of the burgers to be found in Bloomington, IN. Some would call our process scientific, but we would not.
How do we rate each burger?
Great question, and that is why you are reading our Methodology section.
We start by ordering the burger that we want. Sometimes the burger will be the same, sometimes not. We are random that way. We then form our impressions based on the following criteria:
You gotta have nice, slightly toasty buns. Think Duchess Kate after sunning only an hour out on a “hidden” balcony.
Not Hearst or Peppermint, we like our patties made from 100% American cow, fresh not frozen (and not square, sorry Dave). Local beef is a plus, as is some flavor, a good rich fat content to the beef, and signs that you didn’t just pull it off piece of wax paper separating it from a pre-made stack.
Is your lettuce floppy? Does your tomato look like an albino? Is your bacon under-cooked? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, negative points for you.
Our writing process:
Lastly, we talk about the burger, and then write a half-assed review. Enjoy!
Common Methodology Questions (Comm. Meth. Q&A):
Q: Is there a controlling variable / controlling burger in your study?
TheBBB A: No, why are you asking questions like a scientist? Do we come to your lab and ask whether you have thought out the legal and ethical ramifications of your new hydrogen bomb, or whatever? No we don’t, because we respect you as an exterminator of humankind.
Q: Do you two disagree when making your ratings, and if so, how do you resolve the disagreement?
TheBBB A: We are law students. They have rewired our brains so that we are physically incapable of agreement. So we talk, a lot. Sometimes we come to an agreement. (Sometimes we start a fight.) If we don’t come to an agreement, expect contentious entries written with about the same level of respect as a Scalia dissent. (That’s a law joke, get it?)
Q: Why have a price-adjusted rating?
TheBBB A: We are glad you asked that question Timmy! (We are assuming your name is Timmy because your question is naive and adorable.) We price adjust because of the vast range in what MBA and finance geeks call the “price point,” which varies widely across the burger options here in Bloomington. Frankly, we think it is unfair to grade different burgers otherwise. To do so would be dismissive of the price differences, and likely cost disparity, between them. Plus, we are poor students, and we figure most of our readers will be as well, so we want to provide a metric that speaks to them.
Q: I am not poor, in fact I own a successful professional basketball franchise. Why should I care about your price-adjustment?
TheBBB A: Damn your black heart Mark Cuban, quit reading our blog!
Just kidding, please hire us for your Mavs front office. Pretty please?